just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
