So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
