Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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