I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
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