This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize