But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
