Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
