I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
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