just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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