did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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