can we get nightvision for the apartment?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Randomize
