those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
