I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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