So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize