I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
