Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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