Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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