I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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