i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
