she was so not down for the gang bang
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
