you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
