I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
