I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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