it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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