You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
