I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
