You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Randomize
