I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
