I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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