I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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