I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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