so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
