Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
