Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
