So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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