I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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