Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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