yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize