I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
