OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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