i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize