So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
