I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
She's just so happy...and so naked.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
