shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
