HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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