That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Randomize
