I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
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