But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
