this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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