"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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