it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
