Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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