Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
