I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
this must be what syphilis tastes like
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
