wat bout pragnant strippers??
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
