Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
