I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Just invented taco cereal.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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