Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize