Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
