Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
