I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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