Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
