Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
