shes about as inviting as chlamydia
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
